What's in a Photo?

On Saturday night I did something I have never done before. I wouldn't say I was worried or nervous about it, but I did feel the gravity and importance of my role and that forced me to confront many of the doubts I have about myself.

Doubts that persist despite the many strides I have made in the seemingly simple task of learning to love myself.

So I did this thing and while in the midst of it I let go of self-conscious thoughts and worries about doing it "right". I was strong and capable and nurturing.

I am strong and capable and nurturing.

In the midst of it, there was a tiny hiccup and I felt myself allowing the fears and doubts to come in but I stopped myself. I dug deep down and turned the negative thoughts into a teaching for myself. I told myself that I will make mistakes but that doesn't negate the powerful, important work I am doing. So I kept going and it turned out to be even better than I had hoped.

After it was all over I went out with my camera to get a shot of the moon over the lake. It was one of those nights where you almost can't believe something so beautiful could possibly exist. But it does.
So I propped my camera on a picnic table and took many, many photos. Not one of them captured the intensity of the light or the stunning glow of that gorgeous moon. At first I was disappointed. I wanted a photograph to document this amazing night. I thought it wasn't meant to be.

Then I just looked at that moon. I sat and gazed at it for several minutes, while I thought about the women I was spending the weekend with. Women who are strong and capable and nurturing. Women who, like me, are not perfect. Women who make mistakes. Women who keep going through sadness, hardship, and disappointments. A group of women I am proud and honored to call my sisters.

I looked at that moon and I knew that it is part of me and part of all of us. That beauty can't always be captured in a photograph but it's there all the same. This photo shows just a fraction of that beauty. We don't always have to have a picture to remember an amazing moment.

It's in us, forever.