Who Are You Calling Unworthy?

I decided I wanted a "pretty" picture today. I've been feeling down the last few days, with migraines and other stressors making me say nasty things to myself. I thought I'd put on some make up, do my hair, give myself a good angle, and when I sat in front of the camera I'd like what I saw.

Well, it didn't work. I thought every shot I took was terrible. I didn't like the way I looked, or it was boring, or out of focus. All at once, I decided that pretty was not the way to go today. I'm going with fed up.

Fed up that being pretty means so much to me.
Fed up that I cannot seem to accept my flabby arms or double chin.
Fed up that I think that those so-called flaws of mine matter.

They don't matter.

But guess what? I cropped this photo so my flabby arm wouldn't show. I edited it to smooth out my skin. That's the truth.

I started this project to be more accepting of me. To be honest with myself about what I have prioritized in my life. Do I really want to keep measuring my worth by how "pretty" I look? By what size dress I wear? I think I have made some progress in shedding those unfair ideals.

Those ridiculous, shallow, and unimportant  ideals.

But some days.

Some days I forget. Some days I get fed up.
Some days I raise my hand and tell myself "Enough, already!"
Some days are hard.

But not all days. Not every day. In fact, today is a good day to be real. So here.

The original shot, with splotchy, shiny skin, and flabby arm. That wasn't so hard, was it?
Both of these photographs are me. I may not always like what I see when I take a picture of myself, but I still like what's there. I really do.

I am flabby, talented, fat, creative, loving, out of shape, moody, emotional, smart, and a whole slew of other things. Not one of them makes me unworthy. Not one.

Some days are hard. But I know how to make them easier. I can choose to make them easier.
So I will.