It's not that I got bored with this project, or that I wanted to let Jane down, or that I'm too busy (we're all too busy, that's a lame excuse), or that I can't stand taking pictures of myself, etc.
It's that I'm really good at starting and stopping things. I get a great idea, or I make a commitment to someone else's great idea, but I'm lousy at follow through and fairly decent at excuses. Or, maybe not excuses, but allowing the things that must be (work, bills, the boring commitments) to be excuses for the things I want to do but end up slacking off on. Does that make sense?
Okay, and I'll admit to a little bit of self-loathing here. I mean, I look at myself and see the flaws, the expansion of my body, the changes age is making in my face. And I've taken care to post some more creative or flattering images of myself here, but I actually committed to showing me. I really, truly, intended at the beginning of this to show me. I'm not entirely sure I've been honest.
Anyway, my supervisor asked for a photo of each of us on my team. It was for a project and she needed it right away and, she said, it had to show my face. I quickly combed through the images I have of myself. No one takes pictures of me, so I went through the ones I've taken for this blog. Too artsy, no face, shadows, not for work, etc. Since I work from home and I'm rarely dressed like someone who goes to an office (even a very casual one), I didn't think it made sense to look like anyone other than myself. I waited for the evening light, took my tripod and camera down the dune a tiny bit, and photographed myself on the stairs heading down to Lake Michigan. I only took a dozen photos, trying different positions (standing, sitting, closer to the camera, farther). I didn't soften my skin or mess with tone, color, or contrast.
This is where I am, what I do, what I look like.
And this is post number 42 of 52. The countdown is on.
natural beauty!
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