Background Noise

 

I used to believe that if I brought my specialness or talents forward, I would be met with judgement. Or even worse, indifference. 

Hidden in the background, I could get by.  I could survive. Stay small, stay safe. I did this for a long time, not realizing that I was beginning to fade away. Blending in was doing me no favors. The more I felt myself disappearing; the more I searched outside of myself for validation. Becoming dependent on others to boost me up. This only drained even more of my independence and self-fulfillment. 

I see this photo as a perfect interpretation of that. This huge stone is front and center, my figure is blurry and mostly unidentifiable. 

But then I started viewing it through different eyes. Yes, I'm out of focus. I'm not necessarily the main subject of this composition. But your eye is drawn to that somewhat mysterious figure, isn't it? I may be blurred, but I'm there. 

I'm here. 

There is still a part of me that refuses to become invisible, and that is the part I must not ignore. 

I am ready to strip away my old ideas, and step into my beauty. Claim my gifts and share them, without a guarantee of acceptance from others. Claim the truth that I am worthy and that I matter. 

It may feel a bit scary at times to be everything I am meant to be. But I'm done with being small and safe. I'm done with fear and denial. 

I am here and I will not fade away.